I wasn’t prepared for the message I received yesterday, and how it would infiltrate my peace and sanity and steal away my comfort.
I only met Don once. It was a bright and sunny day in Tampa, and I was in the company of an adorable five year old friend named Theo. Shane and I were out on the streets, giving away socks and snacks and hygiene supplies, and Theo’s family had joined us for the afternoon.
Zuzu immediately went to Don and sat down next to him. She didn’t leave his side for the next half hour. He let his hand rest in her fur as we talked to everyone else that was congregated in the small space outside the Salvation Army.
I was so impressed as I watched Theo’s mother comfortably encourage her son to give away socks. Many women feel that they need to protect their children from the houseless people on the street, but Lam Robbins understood the light that her child was bringing into this engagement. I photographed Theo as he gave, and when he latched onto Don, he asked me to capture the moment. “Take our picture!” he told me, even after the fourth image had been taken. I pressed the shutter again as Don smiled at the little boy.
Don couldn’t take his eyes off Theo. As the little boy ran from person to person, offering socks and saying hello, Don would chuckle every time Theo would ask the same person twice. The little boy didn’t care if everyone already had 2 pairs of socks, he wanted to give another! Don’s face lit up, and the smile never left.
Yesterday I got a message from Theo’s wonderful father, Ben. “We lost Mr. Don this week. 70 years old. Sick and alone on the sidewalk. In the richest country in the world.”
Read that again. ON THE SIDEWALK.
I don’t know what you’re doing as you read that. Maybe it gives you no pause. Maybe you’ll continue reading down the page and it won’t make you suck in your breath and choke on it. Maybe it won’t make the tears sting your eyes and your insides churn as you think about your father, your grandfather, at 70 years old, dying outside alone on the pavement beneath our feet. Someone who laughed, who smiled, who loved… Maybe you won’t care.
“Giving food is easy. Giving a damn is much harder.”
These words from Ben made me grateful that I know him. Grateful that he knew Don, and that Theo was able to know him too. I thanked God that someone knew to tell me, and simultaneously questioned if I truly wanted to know. I’m still not sure.
Today is Sunday, and today we celebrate Don’s life together. I’m posting this blog and these pictures in the hopes that you will remember him too…
Spread LOVE.
The joy I felt from what Theo did was certainly offset by the very distressing news that the man with the great big smile – Don – died, alone on the sidewalk. It makes me realize that our nation might be rich in monetary standards but in humanitarian, it appears that we are indeed quite poor.
I will spread your story and value each one that you share.
Not much I can say here, except that I do care, am thankful and appreciate how Don had a happy day with you and Zuzu and Theo before he left.
Stay Passionate.
“Giving food is easy. Giving a damn is much harder.” That should be a slogan for sure. Never truer words have been spoken or quoted.
My stomach flipped and my heart hurt while reading this. How is it that Don who meant a great deal to others died alone on the sidewalk………..I will never understand why people never care enough anymore I am talking about people in general not you Shay or Shane! I know now I will have Don on my mind for sometime. For all I know it could be my brother next. It is not from a lack of caring for him that he won’t take my help. It is a lack of his willingness to not wish to change his path of life.
I cringe every time I read about a person who was killed and they are looking for the next if kin. I always wonder is that my brother they are talking about???
I am not comparing my brother to Don. I am saying that I hope one day will come when my brother will accept my help! My brother is only 39 yrs old and has lived his life like this since he was 18 with no change minus one my brother no longer contacts me because I refuse to give him money! Once he knew he wouldn’t get money from me he stopped contacting me almost all together accept once a year I may get a “drunk” call from him and empty promises he will work on changing. The last time I saw my brother he didn’t have any “light” in his eyes and I haven’t seen any “light” in his eyes since he was 17 yrs old.
May Don find the happiness he so richly deserves in Heaven. God Bless Don!
as I sit vigil as my father dies, my heartbreaks for Don. It is hard to imagine. Through your work, Shay, we will imagine and hopefully begin to do something about it.
This breaks my heart in so many ways. The one thing that keeps me from truly going to pieces when reading this is that at least for a while, Don had Theo and his parents, and you and Shane, in his life. We know that had to bring a ray of sunshine to his life.
I care a lot, and thank you for sharing these stories in hope that we, as a collective society, might try harder to help folks like Don from slipping away, alone on a sidewalk. We can’t save everyone, sadly. It doesn’t stop us from doing what we can.
Peaceful rest, Don.
I care. I will remember.
This breaks my heart. Thank you for your words. For your willingness to ask the tough questions of people and say the hard things. There is so much to do but it is not an impossible task. Not if each of us reaches out a helping hand and a loving heart.
In a world of darkened skies, for many, you are the only ray of light. Never lose your passion, never forget your dreams, always share your love.
How sad. Im sorry for you loss. At least Don knew love and kindness and caring before he passed.
As long as you remember him and do work with him in your mind, he will never be forgotten.
My heart goes out to you and Shane, as well as all the other Dons in this world.
That is heart breaking and should not happen in our country. If one chooses to be homeless it is one thing but homeless because of being poor is wrong to me. I have to ask why he wasn’t getting social security? Maybe he was and it was’t enough I don’t understand. This is nuts.
Thank you for writing this Shay. My hope is that as you, me and others go along their journey and keep talking about this, more and more people will open their eyes. Maybe even regain their humanity.
I can’t understand how we can call ourselves a civil nation while we allow other human beings to die on the the streets. It’s just disgusting to me that we can throw people away and blame it on them.
I am grieved for the loss of a man I never new but deserves to be remembered. Slowly my faith in humanity is decreasing while my faith in God is increasing. Because the only peace I have is knowing Don will never again be hungry ,alone, or homeless. His life mattered,his death MATTERS!!!!
I live in Detroit and came across your site on the news’s website regarding how someone stole your things, I do apologize and really admired your response to that person who did that, I too had something simular happen about a month ago, I left some groceries and dvd’s in the back of my truck and someone stole all of the groceries, I was angry at first but then had the same thought as you, apparently someone needed that more than me, I’m glad i was a blessing that day!! Anyway, I have been unable to stop reading all the posts about your journeys and the stories, this one especially tore through my heart, Im sure you and Theo made Don’s day!! They say NOTHING is a mistake, God always directs your path were it needs to go, you, Theo and Zuzu were definitly in the right place and the right time that day. As far as your quote “Giving food is easy. Giving a damn is much harder.” You need to have that plastered on bill boards everywhere!!! Bless your heart! I’ve been through ALOT and my heart has hardened but because of you i’m finding myself again. Thank you